DEAR ABBY: My daughter is attending an expensive faculty. She can be taking out the utmost of pupil loans, and we are going to slowly however absolutely eat via our total financial savings to pay for it.
Her faculty hires resident assistants (RAs) to assist freshmen modify to varsity life. In return, the RAs obtain free room and board. This could be an incredible monetary assist to our household and may also enable us to repay a few of her unsubsidized loans subsequent yr.
My daughter has agreed to use to be an RA for her junior yr, however since then, she has grow to be despondent. She says all her buddies are transferring off-campus and he or she’ll be “caught” in a freshman dorm. I’m sympathetic to her considerations because the social side of faculty life is essential. On the opposite hand, my husband and I are making great sacrifices so she will be able to go to her dream faculty.
She’s typically outgoing, likes socializing and is temperamentally well-suited to an RA place. So, to be fully sincere, I’m indignant that she’s viewing this chance as a burden slightly than a possibility to considerably enhance her and our household’s monetary state of affairs by taking a job that might be rewarding.
Am I unsuitable to ask my daughter to use for this place? If we have been a rich household, I might by no means ask, however we aren’t. I’m afraid she is going to face better sacrifices down the street if she enters the work world with substantial debt. — NOT MADE OF MONEY IN NEW YORK
DEAR NOT MADE OF MONEY: Although your daughter is enrolled in an expensive faculty, she seems to be missing in monetary acumen. If she have been extra mature, she would acknowledge that this job would profit your total household. Because she isn’t, it’s as much as you and her father to impress that truth upon her.
Of course socializing in faculty is essential, however taking the RA place gained’t solely preclude that. Being an RA would give her priceless management expertise, which may assist her sooner or later. Many graduates keep in mind with nice fondness the resident assistants that they had in faculty and the steering they supplied.
DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law continuously calls my husband and is all the time reminding him to not overlook her. If we don’t reply the cellphone, she’ll depart a message asking, “Where is my son?” Then she’ll add, “Don’t overlook about your mom.”
I’m bored with it, and my husband gained’t put a cease to it. He says she’s his mom and he must respect her. I really feel like even in any case these years she hasn’t reduce the wire, and he’s nonetheless hooked up. Any recommendation? — ANNOYED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ANNOYED: Your mother-in-law seems to be insecure and to crave extra consideration from her son. This has nothing to do with you, so my recommendation is to disregard any message that isn’t meant for you, and attempt to be much less crucial. If being instructed to not overlook his mom bothered your husband, he would cope with it. Trust me on that.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
